Post preface: If you do not want to lose weight nor feel as though you have to lose weight, this post is totally not speaking to you, though feel free to read it! This post is speaking to people who are like how I was until about a month ago: Confused about weight loss, who want to lose weight to look and feel good, that want to stop over-eating and fit into their jeans again, that don't want to over-desire or over-think about food every moment of the day, etc.
At this point in time, there seems to be a lot of emphasis on loving our bodies no matter what they look like, unless it involves being smaller. At this point in time, there is a lot of emphasis on having the main focus of your body to be on how you feel, to the point where there is a dogma around wanting to look good or acknowledging that how you feel goes hand in hand with enjoying how you look. At this point in time, there is such a powerful movement for loving your body if you put on weight, and to have the cupcake if we want to...yet when people say they want to lose a few lbs to look better, or say they are trying a juice cleanse, everyone wants to chime in and say NO THAT IS NOT OKAY. What people are not saying, however, is that to FEEL our best, we must also LOVE how we look. And that's the truth. How can you FEEL good in a body you don't like to look at or that you are afraid to have people see?
And so I am here to be that person, to write that post. I am here to tell you "Hey, it's SO okay that you want to lose weight to look good and in turn feel awesome." YES, feeling good is unequivocally important, but I also believe that if we aren't honest with ourselves that looking good is also important, then our intentions are not in alignment, making the process of losing weight WAY less fun. But who knows? If we allow ourselves to get excited to lose weight with the intention of looking and feeling better, then maybe it will make losing weight a faaarrrrr more enjoyable experience. I know that has been true for me, at least.
Think about it this way: You go to get your hair cut. You get a trim and highlights. The cut was done so well, your hair feels light and so healthy, and you can't stop putting your fingers through it! Then, the hairdresser turns your chair around toward the mirror. You have jet black hair, and the highlights came out bleach blonde (or idk-whatever would horrify you as a hairdo on your head). You are NOT happy, but the girl who did your hair is smiling back in expectation. When you say "WHY does my hair look like that!? What happened!?" and she says back "Well I'm not sure why it looks that way but how does it FEEL!?"....I mean...
Now, I know that getting a haircut is quite different then changing the shape of our body, but to me it is a good analogy. There are SO many things that we do to look better-get our nails done, buy clothes that look good on us, get painful waxing and threading done- that aren't really ever questioned, so why should losing weight with the intention of liking how we look in a bathing suit be any different? We talk about manifesting dream cars and jobs and homes and vacations. We talk about wanting to make more money and wanting to be happier. The moment we realize we want our dream body, however, we seem to turn our heads the other way.
Overall, I think what I am trying to do here is save you from feeling bad about wanting to lose weight so that you like the way you look. For years, I was under the impression that if I cared about how I looked, then my reasoning for wanting to lose weight was faulty-that it made me an egotistical, shallow person- and that's just.not.true. !!! When I FEEL my best is when I feel both physiologically and mentally great, and for me that means I want to like how I look. Does this mean everyone needs to lose weight to like how they look? Absolutely not (I would bold that times ten if I could)! Maybe some people are the opposite! All I am saying, is that no matter the reason you want to change your body to achieve optimal health is a good reason in my book. Sometimes we need to stop questioning ourselves, and just DO what we WANT TO DO. And the funniest part? People keep ASSUMING when someone is trying to lose weight they are dieting. But maybe that isn't true. Maybe someone, like me, just stared to care enough about my body to stop overeating. Maybe they manifest a dream body by visualizing it and feeling how it would feel vibrationally, without even really changing much about their food intake and their exercise regimen. Maybe they just want to love their bodies more, okay? So who is anyone else to tell you what is right or wrong? Only you can know what is right. Only you can know what your deepest self wants and needs, and only you can tell if your intentions are good and fun or misplaced. You get to decide. End of story.
As a little disclaimer to go along with my preface, I want to add this to this post: I am, by NO means, telling you that weight loss or a certain size is vital to love your body. What I am saying is that you are ALLOWED to care about how you look. You are allowed to want to lose 20 pounds because you know it doesn't feel right on your body-because you know calories are just energy and you have been giving your body too many calories and too much energy for one reason or another.
As another disclaimer, I want you to know I am writing this from experience. For years, I had weight on my body that was not meant to be there. The extra weight I was holding onto was filled with emotions I did not want to face, made up problems I needed to let go of, and was straight-up from binge-eating in attempt to go numb...which would unfortunately land me with the shower running and music playing so that my roommates could not hear the sound of me throwing everything back up. For a long time, I allowed myself to not love how I looked. I allowed myself to "intuitively eat" things that weren't allowing my body to THRIVE-nor that actually turned out to be what my intuition even wanted.
What I want to say here is that you are allowed to live in your dream body, to create a new "intuitive" sense of eating. What I want to say here is it is okay to want to lose weight if you are coming from a healthy frame of mind. What I am saying is you, and you ONLY, know what you want to look like and what feels best for you. I want you to know there is a middle ground where you just as quickly don't have the cupcake as you do... and in this middle ground you live in a body you love to look at in the mirror, and that takes you through this life in the most comfortable amazing way possible for you.
I hope this came off as compassionate as I meant it.
Namaste you beautiful people,