Following Your Dreams, Breaking Your Own heart

Sometimes, when we feel stuck, we get frustrated with ourselves rather than exploring what the cause of the feeling is. More often than not, we feel stuck because our Soul is expanding, but we are not allowing the growth to happen.

What do I mean by this? Well, maybe you are feeling agitated and frustrated more than you once were. Maybe you feel like you aren't fulfilling a purpose. Maybe you no longer love a job that you once adored-that was once your dream job!

But here's the thing: We are beings that are here to grow and expand and create. We are always going to have a new goal or dream or purpose-we are dynamic and always changing....when we ALLOW ourselves to.

Why do I say all of this? Well, yesterday was my last day working as a nanny for a family I had been with for almost FOUR years. It was not a job to me. It was hanging out with and helping to care for my family. A few years in, though, I started to feel...antsy. Not only that-I felt GUILTY for feeling antsy and unfulfilled. How could I feel that way when I was taking care of the boys and helping the family I loved like my own?

I stayed, and I stayed, and I stayed, and I become more frustrated, more eager, more itching to explore. And so I gave my  [final] two weeks (I want to be honest- I pretty much gave my two weeks over 5 times lol. That is how much I loved these people). But I could no longer fight the feeling of my Soul trying to soar while I dragged my physical body behind. And so I did it. 

Yesterday I cried, I cried, and I cried. My heart was, and still is, aching. I was leaving a job I was in love with. I was leaving people I was in love with. I was leaving a COMFORT ZONE that I was in love with. Yet, even while sobbing into my girlfriend's arms, not once did I think of turning back. The hardest, scariest thing I have debatably ever done as an adult was also the best thing I have ever done. I finally had freedom that I had NEVER given myself- that some of us never give ourselves in an ENTIRE lifetime! Think about that. I am now free to wake up when I want to. I am now free to create my own schedule, to work in my pajamas, and to swim in the ocean after lunch. I can workout whenever I want, I can eat chocolate whenever I want, and I can watch Netflix whenever I want. In summary? I can flow where my Soul leads me, rather than taking forceful action over and over again.

So now where am I at? I am officially my own boss. My business is officially my only true income. I, and I alone, am completely and fully in control of my life and of my fate. Scary? Hell f*cking ya. Amazing? Beyond words can express.

Again, I want to emphasize that rather than "grind" and hustle and not sleep and taking SO much forceful action, I plan on completely surrendering. I plan on loving myself and resting and allowing the Universe to flow what it will to me. I plan on getting reeeeallly happy, and then taking INSPIRED action. I plan on being at the highest vibration I can, to attract more high vibe feeling experiences, and to think and act from that high vibe place to make my dreams come true.

The moral of the story (that you have probably heard a thousand times, but that I just wanted to confirm for you): It is NOT going to be comfortable. It is NOT going to always be easy. But that does NOT mean it won't be right. That does not mean you aren't on the right path. Don't fight it. Let it flow through you. Take the jump. Quit the job. Dump the person holding you back. Move and travel. And then cry. And eat pizza. Then cry again. Or workout. Do whatever you have to do...but NEVER settle or say sorry. Never EVER apologize or question yourself when it comes to living your dreams. Because this is your life, and the whole purpose is to live it how YOU want to.

How you want to live your life is how you were meant to live your life. So do it.

One of my favorite days atop Monadnock with two of the kiddos :)

One of my favorite days atop Monadnock with two of the kiddos :)

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